Report re: a Ukrainian war refugee family (from Kharkiv)
names changed/some editing from original email to my friend
Hi Glenn,
We spent several hours with them today — met on Kraków main square and went for some food. Unexpected pro-Ukraine “NATO Clear the Skies” demonstration took place while we were there.
The girls are bright and pleasant. They speak Russian at home, and Ukrainian at school. Of the two, clearly the older one is the more depressed. They’re also both obviously daughters of successful parents — tied to their cellphones, the younger somewhat with games. Both understand English fairly well — actually a surprising amount for the younger (10.5 y.o.) who was too young back then to pick up much English during the Fulbright in Oregon. The older, at 17, can communicate substantively. She’s most interested in the arts, but is comfortable with history and language as well. On the other hand, she doesn’t want to leave Poland at this point — Oksana is considering moving on to Germany where she hopes to find academic-type work (or something utilizing her skill-set) and is willing to improve her basic German. The younger girl has some talent in the math/science area but too soon to say how much.
The older girl’s high school boyfriend’s family also fled Kharkiv and is now in Vienna, which is apparently playing on her heartstrings as well….
Oksana is keeping up a brave face, and trying to figure out where to go and what to do from here. She’s in touch with Marek (note: her husband) 2–3x daily, via internet phone calls (What’s App or …..). He never served in the army, except for some low-level training in biological warfare, so right now is busy doing volunteer work in Lviv. Poland has opened doors quite wide to the refugees — any Ukrainian who arrived after 24 Feb and got a passport stamp can work here legally, qualifies for free medical care, will get a small amount of monthly cash, and the kids can attend school. However, they might have to register here for that purpose, and it’s possible that once they do that, it would be difficult/impossible to move on to another (?European?) country and get work/residency papers there. In any case, I think Oksana has not registered here, and perhaps is hesitant to do so until she’s got a clearer path forward. That could take awhile given her interests and somewhat rough English.
No one has any idea how long hostilities will last, how much worse things will get, and whether, at any time, folks will return to their homeland. Sometimes I’m optimistic about an outcome which leaves Europe and the world better off, but right now at 11 PM Sunday it’s hard to envision that at all, let alone anytime soon. Much depends on Ukrainian tenacity, Russian kleptocratic incompetence, and unknowable machinations deep in the Kremlin’s bowels.
The most pressing issues for the refugees are lodging and work. Language plays into both of those matters — the unskilled can get by with rudimentary English/Polish/German but not professionals.
As for lodging, the major Polish cities all have dormitories temporarily filling up with refugees, as the rental housing market tightens — and that is for those with money to pay rent. About 75K are arriving in Poland daily, 2.5M have left Ukraine so far, and another 1–2M can probably be expected.
I didn’t give any money to Oksana today. We agreed to meet again on Tuesday or Wednesday. I will follow whatever instructions you give me at that time.
Below my last thoughts — I too was a war refugee (the Poles declared “stan wojenny” [“state of war”] in order to impose martial law in 1981 and arrested and expelled me in 1982 while keeping Krystyna and Dobromir as hostages behind the Iron Curtain).
1. Better to stay closer than go farther.
2. Therapeutic to start a “normal” life as quickly as possible — school/work/whatever.
3. Imperative to improve language skill(s) rapidly.
4. The sooner one becomes “independent” (not living off friends/handouts/charity) in the new environment the greater likelihood of eventual success.
5. Setting professional goals lower rather than higher avoids lost time and almost-inevitable later disappointments.
LM
